I thought I found my dream job...
I landed an exciting opportunity with a global organization when my first child was just four months old. It was the first time that a job felt like "home" since I left Korea and separated from the USAF. A forward-thinking organization with female leaders across the board. It was love at first sight. It was the first time I saw myself growing my career at an executive level and I was willing to do whatever it took to get there. I was finally where I thought I should be.
At the time, I was a married mama of just one. It took a few months, but I learned to balance the growing demands of my growing career and family. I found comfort in having access to a great network at work. I found manageable ways to relieve my stress. I gave birth to our second, a baby girl. Things were going pretty well. So well, that I abandoned an earlier goal of serving women in the workforce in a greater capacity. Well, until I was much further in my career.
Almost immediately after returning to work after my second child, shit got real. Graciously, I was promoted shortly afterwards. But boy did it come at a high cost. I worked all hours of the day. I traveled over 100 miles daily. I had more responsibility than I could describe and I lost my work safe haven. I gained all the weight that I'd lost after having my daughter. I was crying all of the time. I was spending so much time away from my small children and it felt horrible. They spent more hours a day in childcare than I did at work. I was also breastfeeding and often found myself in the most uncomfortable environments to pump at work. My manager worked remotely and didn't seem to grasp the severity of my stress levels. My husband didn't know how to help me. I couldn't describe my workload in a way that my friends and family could understand how to support me. I grew hopeless, resentful and numb.
I was surrounded by so much love and yet I felt completely alone.
Being a stay-at-home mom was neither an option or an interest. My pre-baby career plan seemed even less appealing if it meant feeling like this for 18 years. I felt like I almost needed permission to prioritize myself. I prayed for an option which allowed me to kick ass with my career and still have access to my babies.
Soon after, I learned from speaking with more women like myself that I wasn't alone. From that, I had an ah-ha moment. I started to research co-working spaces and immediately saw the value they offered. But it also made realize that they have yet to truly support working parents or ambitious moms like myself. Parents who wanted to carry out their dreams while caring for their children. And coffee shops just wasn't going to cut it.
I spent months researching in the pockets of time I'd find at work or after my babies went to sleep. I had a daily battle with self doubt. Who am I to try to tackle such a vast problem? How the hell did I think I could compete with these companies already in this space? I was so close to giving up and just giving into a life of "normal". You know, two weeks off a year, a life filled with mortgages and student loan debt, work-life imbalance and a constant feeling of discontent. One day on a typical drive home, I accepted defeat. I tearfully begged aloud to God to send me a sign that this dream is apart of my plan. Within minutes, I recveived a phone call from a friend saying that she 'd just left bible study and felt the urge to call me about my business.
Talk about an answer to a prayer.
At that moment, I committed to having faith as large as my dreams. I knew that I had to do something about this, for moms especially. I had to create an alternative to this feeling.
It took me well over 12 months (and counting) to find ways to voice my needs and create opportunities in support of them. Tony Robbins' says success without fulfillment is failure. I had to simultaneously experience peaks and valleys in order to remember this.
Work Nest is one mother's journey to end mom guilt and offer the ultimate solution to work-life balance. I have become an advocate for working moms. My commitment to them is to offer a wide-range of solutions, support and resources for being a mom and a goal crusher.